I always loved to play pretend. To play dress up. To play a role. I can't tell when the lines blurred between who I really am and who I play pretend to be. I grew out of princess dresses. I learned that fairies aren't real.
But I still play dress up. Every day I wake up and I pull on the outfit of someone people expect me to be. I still play pretend. Every day I pretend to be someone that people can count on. A good student. A good friend. A good daughter.
I'm good at playing my part. I know every line, every cue, every direction. I know when to smile, how to make my laugh sound sincere. Who to talk to. But nothing is genuine. Every move is exhausting, every breath adds to the weight in my bones.