Friday, September 18, 2015

Warning Signs

“What are you even talking about?” She asked me over the top of her coffee. I was already on edge so I ordered a small tea but as usual Dixon ordered the biggest strongest thing on the damn menu.

“I’m talking about Delilah, being a bitch.”

“Well we always knew she was a bitch but I didn’t think she would really pull this shit. Not after everything you’ve done for her.”

“It’s not even what I’ve done for her, we weren’t really like that. It’s just what I thought we were more to each other.”

I could see the disgust on Dixon’s face. I almost didn’t want to tell her that Delilah unfriended me because I knew as soon as she found out she would be out for blood.

“How are you doing?” She asked me, her empathy clearly showing through. It hadn’t really hit me that the best friend I had ever had was gone.

I shrugged non-committaly and played with the sleeve on my tea. It was brilliantly sunny outside today which made the day seem suddenly harsher.

“Babe.” Dixon said quietly. “You’re better off without that bitch. Besides you’ve got me.”

“All I’ll ever need,” I smiled at her and she blushed.

It felt like shit, being broken up with. Not that we were actually dating but our bond went deeper than something so superficial. One day she was the only person in the universe who knew me mind and soul and now she wanted nothing to do with me.

I never even cried. I tried to, I think, sometime right after it happened, but I couldn’t. I guess some part of me wanted to believe it was for the better. I wanted to believe that it was a good chance to get myself together. But things don’t always go the way you think they’re going to.

Sometimes there are warning signs. Birds on a wire, seeing the backside of leaves, but sometimes you just wake up in the middle of the shit storm. And then that shit storm becomes your life, and you can’t even tell that you’re waking up on the ceiling.

But god I wish for the life of me I had it in me to hate her. 

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